So lately I've been going out a fair amount with different men. All with different personalities, aims, physical features and ages. I've found myself desperately trying to source a person to relate to, laugh with and that doesn't want anymore from me than I can give. I need someone that can assist with my own personal growth, in a positive direction and support me as a friend. The more I searched, the more I realized that I wasn't going to find it...at least not for a while. There seems to be no point in actively searching for something, especially when I'm honestly not even sure what I really want.
Maybe I was just after some company. Because when I really thought about it, I'm not ready for another partner, another person to share myself with. My babies. My life. My heart. I still want to have that closeness, go to dinner, watch movies, talk over a glass of wine and have sex. But I don't want the commitment just yet. I think my heart still has a lot of healing to do. I'm not sure how to do this, but I'm sure with time and counseling and the support of my amazing family, I will be 100% healed, happy and full of life. One thing I need to continually remind myself is to remain positive. To know how I should be treated and spoken to, and make sure that whom ever I am with, they respect me and love me for me. I deserve to be happy.
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